Pain and Suffering

People around me are hurting.  Their hearts are breaking, their loved ones are sick and in some cases they are grieving the death of someone very dear.  As a result I'm seeing and feeling raw emotions.  We each deal with these things differently.  Some people clam up and stuff our feelings down deep.  Some people try to avoid thinking or talking about their pain or worry at all cost.  Some people cry a lot because we can think of nothing else.  Some seek peace in scripture and God.  Some become angry and bitter while others seek comfort in the arms of a friend or loved one.

The thing is, no matter how we have learned to cope with our hurts, we inevitably will feel the pain.  There is no escape.  Some will feel the pain today and others may not be able to face it until tomorrow or the day after.  The thing I take comfort in is God is always present, ready and waiting to comfort us when we finally cry out to him.  It is in that moment he alone can bring us the comfort and healing our hearts and spirits so desperately need.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

The song I've linked below is one which reaches into my heart and speaks to my soul.  I take comfort in knowing my friends and loved ones are in God's hands.  I am hurting and grieving with them now but someday soon I will rejoice when their time of suffering has ended and their hope and faith has been restored.   

It's All About Moments

Lately, I am constantly reminded how each moment in life is a precious gift.  These reminders have come in many shapes and sizes IE. a smile from a stranger, a phone call from a friend or something as simple as capturing a moment in life or nature with my camera.  It's easy to get caught up in our ourselves, our day to day schedules and our To Do lists only to miss out on what's really truly important.  But at what cost and to whom? 

The best example I have to share occurred Sunday morning.  I awoke with horrible pain in my back from my above hips to just below my shoulders.  Every movement was painful.  It took everything in me to not give in and allow it to ruin my day with my family and my time in fellowship at church.  As I walked across the parking lot from our car into church Yaya asked me to carry her.  My first thought was, "Ugh!  Seriously?"  I wanted so badly to tell her,  "I can't.  Mommy's back hurts too much."  However, something inside me fought back the urge to say those words and instead I bent over and picked up all 50+ pounds of her and hugged her as tightly as I could.  As I did she put her head on my shoulder and began singing to me in the tiniest most angelic voice I've ever heard.  "Stop your crying. It will be all right.  Just take my hand. Hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you. I will be here. Don't you cry." 

I was blown away with emotion.  In that moment, I thanked God I hadn't told her I was in too much pain to carry her.  My physical pain may have been great but my heart and spirit would have hurt much more if I had missed out on a moment as tender and special as this.  I then sang the next line of the song to her, "For one so small, you seem so strong.  My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm.  This bond between us can't be broken.  I will be here don't you cry."  As I walked through the doors of our church carrying her we sang the chorus together, "Cuz you'll be in my heart.  You'll be in my heart.  From this day on.  Now and forever more."  It was a magical and by the time I put her down my pain was GONE!  I will not forget that moment for as long as I live as it's forever engraved on my heart. 

In case you need another example my friend Mrs. Blue shared a tender and wonderful moment with us on her blog as she welcomed her husband home from an undisclosed location and deployment.  Check it out and send her some love HERE.

My prayer for you today and as you continue through your week is you will take time to slow down, recognize and appreciate moments just like this in your own life. 

 

Reminiscing and The Return of A Christmas Tradition

I take after my mom in so many ways.  We share the same voice, same mannerisms and we've been told we look alike more times than we can count.  I think the way I most resemble her though is in her tender heart.  My brother and I used to think it was funny when my mom would cry over a song, a tv show or a memory.  Turns out today, we learned we're sentimental fools too.

Over the last couple years I've scoured stores and the internet for a John Denver and the Muppets Christmas cd for her.  When my brother and I were kids our family listened to this record every year as we put up our Christmas tree. When my parent's record player stopped spinning 11 years ago that was the end of our heartwarming tradition.  I can't tell you how much I've missed it.  Last year, I was outbid 3 times on Ebay but finally won a copy that arrived just in time for Christmas.  As my mom opened it tears streamed down her face and mine too.  We listened to it as we continued opening the rest of our gifts and everyone in the family sang along to those old familiar tunes.  It was the perfect gift and family tradition was reborn.

In October, I stumbled upon 2 more copies of this cd and bought them both.  I sent one to my brother and kept one for myself.  My brother opened his yesterday just before he decorated his tree as I instructed him to do.  He told me tears fell from his eyes as he recalled memories from our childhood and Christmas's past.  I did the same thing as I listened to my copy and my family decorated our tree. 

Last night, as he and I reminisced about the old days we found ourselves exchanging new stories about how our own kids have fallen in love with the same songs we did.  We laughed as we recounted funny stories  of how our kids had danced or sang along with Miss Piggy to Christmas is Coming and the Muppets singing the Twelve Days of Christmas.  There is something magical about this cd.  That and hearing John Denver's crystal clear voice sing A Baby Like You, Stille Nacht or It's in Everyone Of us just gets you right in the heart.

If you have a little time, I hope you'll click on one of the videos I've linked below.  I pray they bring smiles to your faces and warmth to your heart as you go about your day.  Oh, Just so you know, I can't be blamed if you hear Miss Piggy's voice in your head the rest of the day.  Consider this my little warning.  It's catchy!

Whatever Happened To My Transylvania Twist?

Last night, we had an evening of pre-Halloween fun.  I made my friend Jessica's yummy Chicken Corn Chowder for dinner then the festivities began. 

We decorated candied apples.

We decorated the Haunted Gingerbread house my mom brought but the walls and decorations keep falling down.  I guess you could say it's a real fright! Hahahaha! 

  

Yaya drew her pumpkin's face and off she went to watch a Halloween cartoon on t.v. with Nana while Bird and I carved the pumpkins.  (Note to self, buy more pumpkin carving tools for next year.)

I borrowed my blog friend, Nancy's pumpkin decorating idea the Pumpkin Prayer.  It incorporates God into Halloween in a visual way for kids.  I shared the pumpkin prayer and it's meaning with Yaya once my pumpkin was all lit up.  It was wonderful to see her facial expressions change as she learned what each shape represents through a new reminder of God's love for us. 

Our evening ended with salted pumpkin seeds roasting in the oven while the four of us rocked out to the Monster Mash.  Yaya loves this song as much as I did as a kid.  Doing the Monster Mash with her, my mom and Bird might be one of my new favorite memories.  Sigh... Good Good Good times! 

I can't miss the chance to let you have as much fun dancing to the Monster Mash as we did.  Enjoy!

Wishing everyone a very Happy and Safe Halloween!

Searching for Rainbows

I think I've mentioned before how much music is part of my life.  It's my way of connecting with the world around me.  It moves me and transports me from one place in time to the next.  I also think I've mentioned how rainbows have special meaning in our family.  They've appeared on special days or after special moments more than once.  The day we brought Yaya home was just one. 

After hearing Colbie Caillat's song Following a Rainbow on the radio today I recalled sitting next to Bird in the passenger seat during our trip to meet baby D.  I also recalled asking him to keep his eyes peeled for rainbows in the sky.  We don't get many clouds around here let alone much rain so when they show up we take notice. That day, I hoped with all my heart we would find a rainbow.  I remember imagining us following it from one end to the other and finding our baby at the end.  Crazy aye?  I am not sharing this song or tidbit from a sad place.  The song is actually quite cheerful and it really gave me a sense of hope.  Don't you just love it when a song makes you feel light hearted and happy from the inside out?  I know I do. 

Click on the following link if you want to hear it Following a Rainbow.  This song is really about a girl waiting for the love of her life but I think some of the lyrics work well for an adoption journey, too.  Either way, it spoke to me today and I'm totally in love with it.  I hope you enjoy it too.



Click below to continue reading.
Timing is Everything

Remembering the Boys of Fall

As I went about my errands this morning I heard Kenny Chesney's song The Boys of Fall for the first time. The lyrics took me back in time to my parents driveway. I was 16 all over again and I was saying good night to the boy I was briefly dating back then named Chad. He was a star player on our high school football team and could be considered a "Boy of Fall." You can probably imagine I was crazy about him and I held onto every word he said that night. He was passionate about football and listening to him describe what it felt like to run onto the field with his teammates in the fall night air really made an impression on me. What's really crazy is it's as if Kenny Chesney was with us that night because I can't believe how closely he verbalized Chad's words from nearly 20 years ago.

Obviously I never played football but hearing this song brought back plenty memories from long ago. Like "Spirit Week" when we dressed in a crazy outfit each day for a week to support our team before the homecoming game. I remember our high school had what felt like 100 cheerleaders on the sidelines leading cheers for those of us in the stands. I disliked and envied them all. I recall watching the marching band march and play in sink as they took to the field at half time. Mostly, I recall everyone congregating by the consession stand to talk, sitting in the stands holding a cup of hot chocolate to keep warm and of course cheering for our team as they blocked a play or headed for the end zone.

Have you heard this song? If so, what memories of high school does it bring back for you if any? Do you have your own story about the boys of fall?

Fifteen

I've taken a few walks down memory lane lately thanks to hearing Taylor Swift's new song Fifteen. Boy does it take me back to my freshman year of high school. Oh the excitement, the fun and who can forget the teenage ANGST!

You all may or may not know I met my good friend, Karin (author of 6 By His Design) during PE that year. She and I talked about a boy or two back then. You never forget your first crush, kiss or love especially when you're 15.

I recall dancing around in my room after my first date. I recall feeling the world spin like Talyor describes after receiving my first kiss on New Year's eve that year. The funny thing is, I don't recall how or when that same boy broke my heart. I know I must have felt heartbroken but that pain is long gone and only sweet memories remain. I learned so much that year and in the years to follow. I must tell you my favorite line in this song comes immediately after she describes feeling the high of a first kiss,

"in your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team but you don't know it at 15."

Where was this song back when we were 15 Karin? That line ROCKS! Oh the wonderful things all of us have done in the years since we were 15! Those experiences and all the ones that followed were what led me to my wonderful husband and beautiful baby girl "But I didn't know it when I was 15."

Thank you Taylor Swift for the this sweet and honest song about being 15.

Wonderful Tonight!

This is cute. I got it from Dawn at Dawn's Place. By my answers, you'll see how varied my music tastes are!

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the meme from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Come Away with Me" ~Norah Jones

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"Taking Chances" ~Celine Dion (I'm not a risk taker in the least!)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Wrinkles" ~Diamond Rio (I love this one! Who doesn't love smile lines?)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"His Eye Is on the Sparrow" ~Gaithers

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE??
"Wrapped Up in You" ~Garth Brookes (Too perfect! This is one of my songs to Yaya. We love singing it together in the car. She loves the "Ba bah babababababa" part.)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"Per Te" ~Josh Groban


WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Amazing" ~George Michael.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Something Beautiful" ~Robbie Williams

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"I believe" ~Diamond Rio

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Your Song" ~Garth Brooks

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Quando Quando Quando" ~Michael Buble and Nelly Furtado

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Proud to Be An American" ~Lee Greenwood

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Your Body is a Wonderland" ~John Mayer (Yum Yum!)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"This Is Home" ~Switchfoot

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Ti Scatter? una foto" ~Tiziano Ferro

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Jesus Take the Wheel" ~Carrie Underwood (AMEN to this one!)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Crazy Love" ~Aaron Neville (Again too true! Yaya is my life and where my life began and ends.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"I'll Be" ~Edwin McCain

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water" ~Michael W. Smith (again couldn't be more appropriate!)
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"No Regrets" ~Robbie Williams

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"I'll Be Here" ~Michael W. Smith

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"Time to Say Goodbye" ~Andre Bocceli and Sarah Brightman (I cheated, the first one that came up could never be right. It was Proud to be an American.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"Don't Know Why" ~Norah Jones

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"Where Were You" ~Alan Jackson (This is soooo true! Every time I hear this song and recall that day.)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"Love of My Life" ~Jim Brickman and Michael W. Smith

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
"You Are Loved" ~Josh Groban

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"The Prayer" ~Celine Dion

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"Blackbird" ~Sarah McLachlan (Not true! I wouldn't change anything about this part of my life! Well, maybe making it happen sooner. Remember this song is how I/we felt God told us Yaya was our little girl and that we had always been waiting for that moment to arise.)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"Everything" ~Michael Buble

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Wonderful Tonight" ~Eric Clapton

I'm tagging anyone who wants to play along! It was too fun so see what songs were shuffled to each question. Come on and try it!