A little about me and my family...

My photo
My love of people, photography and the world began as a child. My family moved a lot and taking pictures was my way of remembering friends, capturing special places or moments and holding them close. Becoming a wife and a mother has always been a dream of mine and I count my blessings daily. I started this blog shortly after our daughter, Yaya joined our family through the blessing of adoption. Its purpose was to share pictures and stories about our life with family and friends. Later, it shared our adoption journey to our second daughter, Baby Bird as well. Now that our family is complete I like to think of it as our family’s journal or life book. I'm passionate about life, my family and preserving our history one snapshot at a time. The thing that amazes me most is the abundance of beauty God blesses us with every day and in the simplest ways if only we take the time to slow down and appreciate them.
Showing posts with label Our 1st Adoption Journey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Our 1st Adoption Journey. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Complete Awe

Last weekend, I attended the annual NASW conference in Reno.  I attended the conference to earn continuing education credits to keep my Social Work license current. It was jam packed full of wonderful information and quite a few familiar faces.  One of those familiar faces was the adoption Social Worker who matched us with Yaya.  Seeing her again brought back so many raw emotions and memories and I found myself re-living those first precious moments with Yaya all over again.  Some days the story of how Yaya was placed in our arms is still difficult to believe, even for me. 
  
I recall riding home with Yaya for the first time in the backseat of our car.  I watched her every move and every expression.  I couldn't take my eyes off of her let alone believe she was really our baby girl.  I wanted nothing more in life than to love, hold, protect and stare at her forever.  I was overjoyed and terrified all at once.  It was FINALLY my turn to be a mom and I wanted to be the best mom EVER. 
I remember us talking about how we would finally get to share/introduce her to our friends and family.  Insert the image of Simba being introduced to the kingdom the morning he was born in The Lion King.  On the other hand, we waited so long for her we didn't want to share her with anyone.  Selfishly we wanted to keep her all to ourselves. We wanted to be alone with her to soak every inch of her into our senses.  We wanted time to allow the bonds between the three of us to form.

I recall wondering if she had any clue what was going on.  I worried how she would act when we got her home. Would she miss the woman she had come to know and depend on over the last two months?  Would she miss her foster siblings who had been so loving and attentive to her?  Would she sleep OK?   Would she cry all night?  Would I be able to soothe her if/when the tears began to fall?  That was a little over 4 years ago.

Many of the worries and feelings I/we felt back then are the same today.  We still can't wait to wrap her in our arms and shower her with our love.  She often catches me staring at her with a goofy expression on my face and she inevitably asks, "What?  Why are you staring at me like that again mommy?"  We still worry about how she feels and we wonder what she's going through at any given moment as she bounces through her day.  We are careful to speak kindly of and honor her birthmom when she asks difficult questions about her and her life before us.  We beam with pride as we watch her conquer new tasks with enthusiasm or happily interact with others.  We fight the internal battle to keep her our little baby while realizing we have to let her go and grow and experience all that life has to offer her.   Today, like the day we met her we find, there is nothing we wouldn't do for her.  Today, like that fateful day she became ours we are in complete awe of her and God's plan for our lives. 
 

Monday, July 28, 2008

Our Journey to Parenthood Part 1

The past 7 years of my life have been filled with non-stop mental, emotional, physical and yes, Spiritual challenges. You see, 7 years ago my husband gave me a baby outfit as a Christmas gift. This was his way of telling me he was ready to start our family. I had been waiting for that moment for 31/2 years and wondered if it might never come at all. That baby outfit was a BIG DEAL in our marriage. It was the best gift he could have ever given me. Sounds silly aye? Not to me.

Before we married we attended premarital classes. We tested our compatibility by discussing our thoughts on finances, religion, sex, work and children with our minister. We were on the same page and in love. Completely!

About 6 months after we were married Bird changed his mind. One night while laying in bed he told me he had decided he didn't want children. As you can imagine I felt lied to, betrayed by the person I loved, trusted and had dedicated my life to. Then, one day I pointed out a beautiful baby while eating at a restaurant. His response to me was, "Just because you see a baby and you think it's cute, it doesn't mean we have to have one." OUCH!!! You can imagine I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach and all the air was gone from my body. Not only could I not have a child but he was taking away my ability to enjoy them from afar as well. WAIT!!! Before you pass judgement on him you should know. My husband isn't this way!!! He's really very kind, considerate and loving. That is what made his harsh words even worse. Those words were the last thing I ever expected to hear from him. Anyway...after a long LONG discussion. We decided to stop talking about children at all. I enjoyed looking at them but I kept my thoughts and dreams of having one to myself.

Now you have a better understanding of why that baby outfit meant so much. The next few days I'll be writing about our journey to parenthood. This subject has been on my heart for a while but I didn't know why or what to do about it. We've been discussing a second child but I'm not sure if I'm ready to go through the big emotional roller coaster again. Over last 3 days, God has led me to several women's blogs. They have experienced or are experiencing struggles similar to my own while trying to become a mother. I think God wants me to write about my experiences. Possibly for my own reflection and way of deciding the next step for our family. Possibly to help someone else who may be struggling as I did. If my story can help one person then it'll be worth sharing it. My heart and prayers go out to them and I hope this poem brings them some peace as it did me.

Investment
How enviously I watched
the rose bush bear her bud-
Such an easy lovely birth.
And at that moment I wished
the sweet myth were true-
that I could pluck you my child
from some green vine.
But now as you breathe
through flesh that was mine,
gently in the small circle of my arms,
I see the wisdom of investment.
The easy gift is easy to forget
but what is bought with coin of pain
is dearly kept.
Author: Carol Lyn Pearson
A wise friend once shared that poem with me during my first InVitro attempt. She also said the following words, "You are buying with coin of pain right now, and it is true that your child will be ever more dear to you for it. That is priceless."

Click on the link below if you would like to continue reading about our first adoption journey.