These Ties That Bind

It's often strange how people come into our lives. You may have been tennis partners in the 9th grade only to become friends for life. You may have gone to a friend's birthday party only to meet another person who gets you in ways not many have or ever will. You might speak on the phone with a stranger for 45 minutes before she blesses you with the one thing your heart yearns for and desires most. A child to call your own. That's how three strangers lives were bound for eternity almost three years ago. We received another letter from Yaya's birth mother yesterday. Her letters are always full of praise and love for us and for Yaya. I am so thankful she is happy with how we are raising her daughter, our daughter. We can tell she's read our letters and looked at the pictures we've sent in a way we will never understand. She soaks up each snap shot like a giant sponge and savors the moments captured in time as if she were there with us. Her words are often like poetry as she responds to what she sees and has read. She's always kind and loving yet, we often feel like we've been kicked in the gut after reading her words. Why you ask?

1. Because we know if it weren't for her unimaginable love for Yaya we would not be her parents today. 2. Her faith and trust in God and us for Yaya is AMAZING! 3. We sometimes feel in her blessing of adoption for us we have inadvertently taken something wonderful from her. No matter how hard we try to explain our life to her through letters and photos she will never truly experience these moments with Yaya first hand. It's a bitter sweet pill to swallow. 4. Last month, we sent her a letter asking if she would be willing to meet us in person. While reading yesterday's letter we hoped we might get an answer but there was no mention of it from her at all.

While trying to make sense of my/our emotions Bird and I came to another strange realization. We don't really know her. We've never met in person. We know only what she has shared through letters and the adoption history. We think of her as a person whose inner strength is beyond understanding. We see but will never understand her level of love and SELF SACRIFICE for us and for Yaya. Our relationship with her is unlike any other we've ever experienced first hand. It's no wonder we sometimes feel the way we do.

To the outsider, the tie that binds us might appear very tiny and sometimes even non-existent. If you think about it, most relationships are formed with common threads or experiences shared. From what we know, her experiences and ours are very different and at times have been on opposite sides of the spectrum. Even so, there are layers and layers of strings that tie us together. Those strings are tied, solidified and filled with an understanding of HOPE, LOVE, FAITH and TRUST even the three of us may never completely understand. In that realization I again can only attribute it to one thing... GOD.