Week 6: Love

I remember my first crush.  We were freshmen in high school.  He played football, was on the wrestling team, he was funny and smart and CUTE and he liked hanging out with ME!  Almost every day he would come gliding down the big hill in front of my parent's house on his beat up skateboard. He always wore long shorts, a faded t-shirt and well worn converse high tops.  His sun streaked blond hair hung in front of his blue eyes just enough that he'd have to push it back in a way that made my knees weak.   I'm telling you my heart went pitter patter at the mere thought of him.  The best part was we had fun together. We'd joke around and talk for hours.  One evening he called me.  I figured it was because he hadn't come by that day.  Imagine my shock when he told me he had asked my best friend out on a date earlier that afternoon.  As if that wasn't painful enough, she told him she wouldn't go out with him until he asked my permission first. I could have died!  She knew how much I liked him.  She knew he was all I talked about.  How could that be her answer?!  A million thoughts and responses raced through my head all of them SCREAMING in HORROR, "YES I MIND!  HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?" 

Instead, the words that came out of my mouth betrayed me.  I told him it would be fine with me and I was happy for them.  I hung up the phone feeling as if I had just lost my first crush and my best friend too.  What's worse?  I had a similar situation happen to me again in college.  It cut me to the core and for awhile I didn't trust anyone at all.  I couldn't understand how someone could betray me like that.  

A few years ago I started a Valentine's Day tradition for my girls.  Each of us chose a friend we would like to invite over for a Friendship Tea.  All who came would bring something to eat and share.  I decorated the house and table with pearl beads and heart shaped candles and chocolates.  I made a special Valentine's tablecloth with napkins to match.  I went all out making this a very special day about friendship.  I did this for a few reasons. First, I wanted my girls to understand the importance and value of friendship.  Second, I want them to have something other than broken hearts or relationships with boys to look forward to on Valentine's Day.  Most important, I wanted to start this tradition when they were young so it would be an established tradition they looked forward to by the time boys entered the scene. 

I know growing up is hard.  I know relationships and figuring out how they should work can be nearly impossible when you're young, especially when you think you're in love.  I am not naive in thinking I'll be able to prevent my girls from experiencing pain or heartbreak from friends or boys. That's part of growing up we all have to go through.  I do however hope to instill in them what it means to be a friend as well as the importance of protecting and nurturing those friendships they care about.  In doing so, maybe they will also choose their friends carefully. 

Unfortunately, this year I was sick and life was too busy to send out invitations for a special friendship tea but I didn't want to skip it all together.  Instead, we had a last minute brunch with my mom and her friend.  I still decorated the table, made a veggie tray and fancy chicken salad sandwiches.  I sprinkled chocolates and conversation hearts around the table and ordered special heart shaped cookies for dessert.  Here's their faces as I showed them their special treat.  Such joy!

Two of my favorite moments from Valentine's week are below.  My mom and the girls made homemade Valentine's cards and they sent Bird and I on a scavenger hunt to find them.  They were so excited about the cards they made for us.   The words they wrote were so sweet.

I took Little Bird's photo and made it into her 1st  preschool Valentine.  She was so proud of her Valentines and she couldn't wait to pass them out to her teachers and her friends.