Change, it's hard on all of us.
We like the ease of our everyday routines.
We like to know what happens after snack time, recess or taking our bath.
We like seeing familiar smiling faces when we walk into a room.
We like knowing we are accepted and loved for who we are.
Even when we mess up or make a poor choice.
My little smoochy is having a hard time adjusting to kindergarten. She has always been an outgoing little girl who made new friends with ease. I don't think we've ever left a playground without her giving a new friend she's met that day a hug. She LOVES people! She loves learning! She is almost always confident, smiling and happy.
Like me, she wears her heart and her emotions on her sleeve. She loves deeply. She feels deeply. She can be extremely sensitive.
Unlike me, she has one of those personalities that doesn't take No for an answer. At least not the first time around. She has always been one to push the limits and test people to see if they really mean what they say and say what they mean. She wants to know WHY? She wants/needs to have the last word. She is not afraid of a challenge. She looks at life and her surroundings in her own way and goes at her own pace. She WILL NOT BE RUSHED! She concentrates on every detail and soaks life up like a sponge. As a result, she needs to be given a countdown (or 5 minute warning) to transition from one activity to another. Like many of us, she enjoys routines and knowing what's happening next.
Over the last few weeks she has struggled with some of the new changes in her life. Especially, when it comes to her new school. She misses her old teachers. She misses her old friends. She misses her weekly playdates, routines and even prayer time before snacks. She misses singing songs. She misses doing craft projects. She's having a hard time adjusting to all the changes. Her teachers have told us she's having a hard time and so has she. In fact, "I want to go back to preschool" has been a daily request from her. She has really thought this through too. She even recalls she was in a 5 year old preschool class last year when she was only 4. This was a fact we had forgotten until she reminded us. Sighhhhh
Our family is hurting right now because she is hurting. It hurts to see your child struggle WITH ANYTHING. But it especially hurts when you know there isn't a quick fix to make it all go away. I long for the ease of something simple like a bandaid or a momma hug to help her through this period of change. Do you know what I mean?
What should we do? She is mentally ready for kindergarten but is she emotionally ready? I don't know. I want to support her. I want to encourage her. I want her to be confident. I want her to feel safe and secure in her new environment. I want to do what's best for her.
Have you gone through this with your children? What helped you decide the best path for them? We're working with her new teachers to find ways to help her transition. We're looking at our options and we want more than anything to do what is best for her. We're praying her through this difficult time of transition. Will you please pray for her too?
10 comments:
As you know, we don't have kids yet so I haven't gone through this.
But, my friend struggled like this through all of her kindergarten year. She cried almost daily before school and just had a hard time emotionally adjusting to school. Her mom thought about pulling her out of school for the year and giving her the year to mature. The teacher and her mom decided to keep her in school to see if she would adjust. She never did and they ended up holding her back at the end of the year anyway. Her next kindergarten year went smoothly.
(I only know this from stories I've been told as an adult since I was just a kindergartener at the time too)
I really don't know what the best solution would be. Prayer said for all of you though!
I was one of these kids, my mom says. I was already reading, but just wasn't ready to go. So she let me stay in preschool another year. We laugh about how I "failed" preschool, and I don't remember much of it, really. I just know that they didn't think I was ready, so I went the next year. Odds are, she'll probably get over it and adjust in the next couple of weeks. Keep the lines of communication open with her teacher and keep Yaya talking about what bothers her and help her think through it.
I would love to chat with you. I am NO wealth of knowledge, but I did work in a kindergarten room for nearly 5 years and saw this exact thing. If you decide to keep her in the class I have some ideas that might help.
I know she has a late birthday. Trust your heart. You know her better than any teacher, any person for that matter. Holding her back for one year won't damage her. It will just make her all that more ready next year. I believe in a positive start to school. If it's been a few weeks and she is totally unhappy, I would really consider waiting to send her another year.
Praying for all of you-peace for Ya-ya and wisdom for you and your hubby. Call me if you need me.
It has been my experience that the teachers teach because they love the kids. go to the teacher and enlist her help. Explain Yaya's nuances to her and ask her to help you think of ways to help her succeed in this class. It might be as simple as writing a schedule on the black board and giving a 5 minute countdown during non-instructional time.
And of course, trust your heart.
Its just natural, isnt it? To not like change... I know I never did like it growing up & STILL dont.
But I understand more now that change is what keeps life interesting, keeps us growing. Maybe if you can make it "exciting" for her - keep upbeat about it - have her tell you NEW things she's done each day, maybe it'll make her excited to keep an eye out for daily changes - no matter how small?
I'll definitely keep you all in prayers. I know it hurts you to see your child struggle... she'll make it through just fine though :) In every change, God still remains the same :)
If you are in prayer about this, (I know you are) just listen. He will give you the answer. When He does follow it in Faith and Trust that He will never lead you astray.
Okay, girlie,
this is what
I'm thinking.....
1. Do you have a
Montessori school
in your area? My
Elizabeth graduated
from Montessori kindy.
They let you follow
your own interests and
it's more free-flowing.
She was way ahead of
her peers in 1st grade
as a result and she has
always been a good student
due to this positive start.
2. Homeschool kindergarten.
My son HATED kindy. I had
tried Montessori for pre-school
and it didn't work for him.
We did church pre-school and
he liked it. But he didn't
like public school kindy. He
was old for his class {Oct.
b-day}, so we enrolled him in
full-day kindy. In retrospect,
this was a big mistake. I helped
in the classroom twice a week
and he always begged to go home
with me when I left. Turned out,
he was bored stiff....already
reading when he started. I wish
I'd kept him home that year and
schooled him, myself. He also
hated 1st grade for the same reason.
I feel your sadness. We moved him
to a private Christian school in
2nd grade and he's LOVED school
ever since and is a straight-A
student in 7th grade.
Whew! If you want to discuss
further, shoot me an e-mail. I
know what it's like when your
child is unhappy. It's awful.
xx Suzanne
My youngest had the same problem. The best thing to do is to remain plugged in and ask the teacher what you can do at home to support what he/she is doing at school. The adjustment will come.
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