Dear Michael Jackson

Today, as I was listening to Italia.FM on my computer I heard you, Michael Jackson, "THE KING OF POP" died." I sat there in complete shock and honestly denial. I prayed the news was wrong and that it was a horrible publicity stunt gone wrong. I prayed that you were in a coma as the news suspected and would make a miracle recovery. In all honesty, I think I'm in denial even now. My heart just doesn't want to believe what my brain and the news is telling it. I recall singing at the top of my lungs to ABC, Ben and Rockin Robin in the back seat of my parent's car as some of my earliest and best childhood memories. I saw you 3 maybe 4 times in concert in the 80's and 90's. The first time, was when you and the Jackson 5 did your reunion tour. My mom and I drove from Jefferson City Missouri to Kansas City to see you. That was my very first concert and it was a big deal not just to me but the world. We were in the nosebleed section and you appeared to be small as ants but in reality you were larger than life to me. It is the concert I've compared all others too. It's a pretty tall order to try and top one of Michael Jakson's concerts. Very few other performers stood even the slightest chance against you. Growing up, if we heard you were going to be on TV my family would tune in because you and your music were guaranteed fun entertainment. My brother owned a pair of parchute pants. We both coveted any one of your jackets or the diamond studded white glove. Do you remember the first time they showed Thriller on tv? I remember being gathered around the tv at a friend's house for a Thriller premier party and it was like we were celebrating a holiday or something. That video still makes me shiver today not because I'm still afraid but I honestly think seeing it takes me back to my childhood and that very moment. I don't recall a single Halloween since that hasn't included Thriller and Vincent Price. As a teenager, my girlfriend Jeny and I went to see you together several times. We talked about boys and life in her room while listening to your music. It was almost like all the world was right when your songs were on the radio. I even recall watching you perform during the half time show of the Super Bowl when I was in college. Tons of friends surrounded me and not a noise was made while you were on stage. You were loved and adored by us all. Your music and videos ALWAYS brought out emotion in us. Often your dance moves were seen as controversial and or innovative. That didn't stop any of us kids from trying to imitate each and every one of them. You knew how to touch our souls whether it was to make us do the Moon Walk, hug a friend or try to save the world. I recall people holding hands across America to your song in order to raise money, awareness and wipe out world hunger. WE ARE THE WORLD! I feel the world has lost such a beautiful and inspirational person. My only hope is that God will use you in Heaven to bring peace to us here on earth. No matter how I try to wrap my head around this the bottom line is that I'm overwhelmingly sad. I, like many others have been watching your videos since the news came. Yaya has been by my side watching, listening to your story and she immediately started dancing to your songs. She refers to you as "Michael Jacks." She's not quite 3 but she can see you're special and is already dancing to your songs with the love and admiration generations before her have shared. My greatest sadness came when I realized she will never get to see you and experience "Michael Jackson" live like I did. Her only knowledge of you will be like mine of Elvis and it breaks my heart! Some have compared you to a modern day Peter Pan because you were an eternal child at heart. Maybe that's why I and millions of others feel a huge piece of me and my childhood died with you today, Michael. I pray you are now happy and at peace. I pray that all that you couldn't have on earth has been granted to you in heaven. I pray your children will always remember you through their own eyes and experiences not through those of the media. Only they knew the real you and I want them to remember you for you. Their loving and devoted father. Michael, you will forever be in my heart. Take care and rest in peace. Thank you for ALL of the memories of which there are way too many to count. You are and will always be missed. Your forever fan, Nichole