The last words really touched me "And so we go to the One who is the perfect friend, who never leaves, who never changes, who always loves and He gives us the hope to begin work again." Is Facebook a tool God has given us to seek him? Is it a tool Christians can use to join together in lifting one another up in prayer or to help a friend find his/her way back to our Father's loving arms? I like to think so. How about you? What do you think is the purpose of reconnecting with people from our past on Facebook and other networking websites?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
To Everything Turn Turn Turn
Recently, I have reminisced and reconnected with some very special people through Facebook. A friend from grade school, a first love, fellow military spouses past and present. Friends from various parts of my life including those I've met through blogging. All this connecting with friends old and new has made me stop and think.
If some people are meant to come into our life for a season and some people are meant to stay forever, what is the purpose and/or point of Facebook?
Why am I reconnecting with and "befriending" people who may or may not have said one word to me in the past 30 years. Why do I need Facebook when I can talk to my real friends through my regular email? If these people were really my friends why haven't they been here all along? Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful catching up with people who once meant the world to me but for some reason drifted out of my life. I've often wondered what happened to them and if they were happy in their lives. Facebook has given me the opportunity to answer those questions. At the same time, I have to ask myself why NOW? What purpose do these people have being in my life again? What am I meant to learn from them and our relationships this time around? More important, what is the purpose of reconnecting with these people if they're only going to disappear into this great big world once more? Do you know? It's something I've really been praying on.
Last week, our Bible study was about friendship. Talk about a coincidence. HA! I don't think so. I found the answers through prayer, scripture and a small box at the end of our lesson titled "Reality Check" It said, "Real life takes work-every part of it. Marriage, raising children, your walk of faith-they all take work, focus, time and lots of prayers. Friendships are no different. The best are the ones we intentionally nurture so they don't die. We invest in them so they don't dwindle down to nothing. We pay attention so they don't get lost. Yet, despite our work, things still happen. Friends move away and we feel abandoned. Friends change and we feel misunderstood. Friends take their love away and we feel hurt. And so we go to the One who is the perfect friend, who never leaves, who never changes, who always loves and HE gives us the hope to begin the work again."
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13 comments:
To me, Facebook is a pain in my butt, to a friend of mine it has been a way to have "Jesus-centred" conversations with people she can't see in person or had previously lost touch with. I don't get on much, any conversations I had would be weeks between either side of the convo. I was talking friendships with a friend thinking all things wedding planning today and who to invite (small wedding) and who should be bridesmaids and the advice I had was what I was given in the same situation "the ones who will still be excited when your kids are born and will be comforting your family at your funeral, if you can see them in those situations then don't leave them out of this one" Another friend thought I was too harsh but I have found it was the best advice I was given in the same situation... wish I'd listened.
Great points... I personally really have enjoyed Facebook to see people who I've lost contact with & to see how they've "grown"... I love seeing some who now have a relationship with Christ who you would have thought would be dead in a gutter somewhere!
For me though, as a youth leader, its an EXCELLENT way to stay in touch with the kids! A place to send group messages, updates, - & mainly a safe place to talk - they can IM & talk from the safety of "behind" a screen & not face to face... its been a great tool!
Good points. I never really gave any in depth thought to Facebook. I just thought it was neat to see what people from my past have been up to. I do love the idea of the One true friend...so true!
An insightful post, I'll have to give you that! I don't bother with Facebook because it simply doesn't interest me to connect with people in the past or people who I am not in contact much. Blogging, internet, twitter, all that stuff...amusing forms of media but nothing can replace life as you experience it with those who are immediately around you. Unless you're a business and need to network, better to spend that extra free time (spent at the pc) doing something to help the less fortunate. Forgive me for being sour on this point, but when my long, lost cousin asked me to join so that I could see pics of her and her grandkids I was like WTH? A simple email on a regular basis would have meant so much more, instead of this goal to have more "friends" on a stupid website. The past is something best left where it is...in the past!
I really prefer my blog friends over facebook. I have made connection with one cousin on facebook who was taken from us as a child by her mother. We enjoy getting to know one another and sharing e-mails, but I do not use it for much else.
I do also use it to talk to Tricia in Kotzebue, but have not connected the way I have here on my blog.
I agree with everything you said. I wouldn't sign up for facebook sophomore year of college, and I'm not signing up for it now!
What a great post here! You know, it's true...we need to nurture the real friendships, but it's been neat catching up with people from 20 years ago....perhaps it's in the terms we use. I was talking with my 14 year old the other day about friendships, acquaintances and all the rest you "know." We have a friend with 2,000 facebook friends and when her gram passed away last week, she let 4 know....I guess there is something to the fave 5....:)
I use fb to connect with friends and youth....but there are boundaries....
Oh, you are welcome to print the WFW image today. I wish I could sell them...so does my hubby...but to buy the licenses to "sell" the images are just outrageous....if you need help sizing, let me know!
enjoy!!
peace,
lori
I like Facebook because I have some "friends" on there that I am friendly with but not necessarily friends with in real life. I hate to lose touch with them because they all had some part in my life.
Thank you for leaving me the birthday wishes today! :o)
Interesting and meaningful post, Frizzy. As one who moved all over and frequently, growing up in the military, maintaining long distance friendships was a way of life. They were my lifelines in many ways while adjusting to new places and people. But I kept it up until a few years ago, far into my adulthood.
Questions like you're asking hit me over the head a few years back when I, finally, realized I was invested in too many people. A problem because it compromised what I had to give to those around me. As hard as it was to let go, I let go and all is as it should be. My own family has grown so, and my obligations, as has my circle of friends where I live now. Maintaining the long distance friendships daily or weekly or even monthly, is out of the question.
The right answer here, is very individual and personal. I have a close high school friend who has almost no family - I mean NO family and no children, so her needs and obligations are much different than mine. The key for me, was realizing I was spread too thin, and suspecting that the life of some of the friendships would just die a natural death if it weren't for my efforts. That's what got me wondering. Was I forcing life into these friendships?
When I let go, it felt great. Letting go meaning: letting go of my preoccupation and the sense of importance I placed on them. Some went by the wayside and some didn't, and all is finally as it should be. It's not loss. Not at all. Each one added so much to my life - how could it be loss? It's life. It's finally as it should be. There is a time for everything under the sun, right? :) Plus, if I need them, they'll be there. If they need me, I'll be there. We'll have that forever.
As for Facebook. Not interested. The reconnecting with people is borne of the simple fact that it's possible (like the TV and phone and car in their early days), along with curiosity about others' lives. I've seen that be tragically distracting from 'living' in the best and most real sense. It serves little purpose and I would advise caution. I advise, 'be' a friend to those around you, mostly to your family.
This put me in a thought-filled frame of mind. Hope it makes sense.
Fabulous post! You have such great insight! To be fair, I only signed up for FB to keep in touch with my family and friends I have now. But, a strange thing happened, and I was being friended by old friends AND even old enemies from nearly 20 years ago!(so that would be High School) The "enemy" I speak of was actually an old dear friend of mine, during the course of high school, turned on me without any reason at all. I never did find out why and actually it always bugged me a bit all these years. No closure. However, he reached out to me, and we got on FB chat, and it was as if nothing had ever happened. Which to me, I was just dying to ask WHY-why all the hatred for 2 years, the cruelty? But somehow that melted away-it was the past and I think he realized what a fool he had been. I did not need an apology, you could tell he had grown up and was now a father and happily married. I think he reached out to me, because he *did* feel bad, and this gave me the closure I always wanted. Granted, after that FB chat, we have not really made contact, we really do not post on each others FB. I think it was for a moment-no different than as if we had bumped into each other in a store in our hometown-that we made our peace, we acknowledged each other's lives with respective families. That was enough for us. I think a lot of my old friendships (which in contrast, were not sour at all) on FB have been this way. A brief moment of catching up and then onward with our lives. Nothing wrong with that. I know that we'll never have any deep relationships now, all our lives are too different. We reminisce a little and carry on. I must say I am thankful for FB for that. FB for me really only involves my family and my friends that have been involved with my life consistently for the last several years. So it could be taken as that as well, just a passing by in the cyberworld and nothing more.
hmmm...
i don't usually read thru ALL the comments on anyone's given post, but this one pulled me in and i wondered what the others were thinking...
i have to say that i actually enjoy fb. it's easier than emailing, since i never save the addresses and my software no longer saves it automatically on my behalf (boo hoo to new software.)
i have had to show discretion, as you well know. but it's a good lesson to learn. and i have to say - why not add fb to the manner in which we relearn relationships in a new age of technology. gone are the days of the falling off the wagon crossing the prairie never to hear from that particular relative again. (that's actually a real story from my grandfather's side). i say embrace that this is an opportunity for us to keep in touch. it's a balancing act. and i, too, know women who fb instead of raising their children. but they, too, can be encouraged through our interaction. (and they can teach us how to search our teenager's computer history or how to install security measures so certain websites aren't utilized by our wee ones...)
i laugh at my wittiness. except it's true.
great post, sweetie.
~k
What a great post. I am so in two minds re Facebook - one the one hand I am reconnecting on friendships,. building some up again. But the best to me is that it helps me to keep in contact with friends that have moved overseas. Off course we also email, skype etc.
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