How do we help those who have lost so much?

It's been a long month. One with quite a few emotional roller coasters that continue even now. My girlfriend, Bug and her family lost her Grandfather in Law in mid January. Then, after tons of prayers we also learned sweet Kaitlyn and Tuesday earned their wings and are now with our Heavenly Father too. There are no words to express how a person feels when they lose someone close. It's even more difficult to comprehend when an infant or child passes away. What do you say to bring comfort to their family and friends at such a time? "I'm so sorry" just doesn't seem to cut it. "I'm here and praying for you if you need anything" doesn't seem like enough either. I remember how I felt after my attempts at invitro failed. I was devastated that my body couldn't carry/support a baby. I wasn't even able to get pregnant and I was completely empty and lost. There was nothing anyone could say to make me feel better. I felt like people expected me to get over it, stop talking about it and just move on already! I couldn't no matter how hard I tried. I just couldn't. I was grieving for the child I could never give my husband. Grieving for the child that would never have my hair or my husband's eyes, smile and funny personality. I needed to talk about my loss so that I could move on. In recalling my own feelings of loss, I cannot begin to fathom the depth of pain and emptiness these families are now experiencing. Please know I am not comparing my loss to theirs. I am fumbling just like many of you to make sense of this. I've never met these angels and my heart is hollow and empty where hope once radiated for them and their recovery. What's worse, I imagine how empty their family's arms must feel w/o their precious loved one/babies to hold and snuggle. How do we begin to help fill such a deep void and move forward? These are questions I keep coming back to and here is what I've come up with. I am praying someone gives them permission to grieve. REALLY GRIEVE!!! We all need to encourage them and give them permission to grieve here with us. Don't let them get caught up in being strong for their other children or spouse. Instead, give the entire family permission to grieve, together. Kids need to know and see how this loss is effecting their parents. Seeing their parents grieve will help them feel safe and they'll know they aren't alone in their feelings of loss. We need to allow them to be angry at us and the world if that's how they feel. We can let them talk/write about their feelings of loss. We can tell them it's normal to think they've heard their voice. We can tell them they're not crazy when the think they've seen their loved one from the corner of their eye. We need to encourage them to TALK ABOUT IT and how that moment made them feel. We need to remind them how much they are loved. They need to feel safe as they deal with each stage of grief. If you are a friend or family member please do this for them and for yourself too for as long they/you need to. For what it matters, I too am here as long as you need me or just a shoulder. These 3 individuals have touched so many of our lives and hearts. They will all be missed more than any of us can find words to express.